I see pictures of George Floyd
being killed and know no law can
justify that
and think, "How much self-
hatred he has to kill another man
hiding behind his uniform, hoping to say,
'I was just doing my job.' "
Think how we,
as individual citizens, have given
our responsibilities of being human
beings to legislators -- a caricature
of flesh and blood and a beating heart
and The Golden Rule tarnished by
so little use.
I am 68 today.
And the fact is I think more,
feel more love and beauty
and that random radical called
grace than I ever have.
I have rarely hated myself
to the point of denial, projecting
justification for acts criminal.
I am flesh and blood and know
the urge of Cain; I am flesh
and blood and know the urge of Jesus
and have chosen one over the other --
self-love is not selfishness but
commonsense.
And a democracy built
upon the blood of Native Americans,
the backs and bastards of slaves
has much to repent for
where the material quality
of life is not a worthy sacrifice
for our humanity.
I am 68 today
watching the sun shadow my yard
with the shadows of silver maples
on fresh cut grass.
Here "the peace
that passes understanding" is almost
so; here is not everywhere.
If I knew how to pray, I'd
pray for "peace in our time"
but change the word "time"
to "hearts" -- peace there takes
care of time and circumstance
everywhere.
Today, I am 68.
-Byron Hoot
